EFL - 2024 SEASON WRAPPED
The fullest of breakdowns
Disclaimer: This is my longest recap ever, but, I promise, it’s worth the read.
ALL HAIL SWEET CAROLINA.
Michael Schultz’ first championship in the EFL comes in just his 5th season in the league.
I won’t do a full recap of the playoffs because you were there – you lived it. But, I will give you all a breakdown of two playoff games that deserve our attention, a celebration of how right I was this year, an admission of my wrongs, this season’s MVPs, and a full review of our drafting successes and failures.
I hope you all enjoyed this season as much as I have.
And with that…
Read ‘em and weep.
TWO GAMES THAT DESERVE OUR ATTENTION
1. Quarterfinal: Butt Fumble vs. Turn down for Watt
We wouldn’t normally necessarily get out of our seats for a #4 v. #5 matchup, but maybe we should since it’s theoretically the most likely matchup to be a nail-biter. And, BOY, did this one deliver.
The early-goings looked like it would be a low-scoring slog. Turn down for Watt got just 10 points from Kyler Murray and fat ZERO-burger from Jaylen Waddle. Butt Fumble watched Derrick Henry AND Joe Mixon have their worst games of the season in the same week. Then, in the afternoon and evening games on Sunday, both teams got boosters. It was Brandon Aubrey’s 16 and A.J. Brown’s 17 that kept Butt Fumble in it, while Turn down for Watt got 23 and 26 from Jahmyr Gibbs and James Connor. Going into the Monday night game, Turn down for Watt had a 5.86 point lead and no players remaining.
It would all come down to Butt Fumble’s Jakobi Meyers to determine the result. Through 47 minutes of the Falcons v. Raiders game, Meyers had managed just 3 catches for 26 yards. The underwhelming effort allowed Turn down for Watt to hope that this could mean the semifinals.
But, with 48 seconds remaining in the game, Jakobi Meyers caught a 11 yard pass, cutting Turn down for Watt’s lead to just 2.16 points. Things were hairy, but if Meyers had less than 22 yards, Turn down for Watt would move on. 2 plays later, the Falcons forced the Raiders into a 4th and 8 situation to potentially end the game. Former Falcon QB Desmond Ridder went back to pass, had no receivers open, hit his RB in the flat, who needed 8 yards and got 8.5 to give the Raiders life with 35 seconds left.
The very next play, Jakobi Meyers reeled in a pass for 22 yards. 22. The Raiders would throw an interception on their next attempt.
Butt Fumble won the game by 1 yard, with the final score 96.20 to 96.16.
2. Championship: ThrowUpThe X vs. Sweet Carolina
It’s not every year that we have a close championship game. In fact, most years we don’t. The average margin of victory in championship games throughout league history is 32.47 points.
The closest margin in any championship through 2023 was 7.02 in Fauxbardi XII (Tompa Bay over Ruthlessberger).
This year, the margin was just 2.4 points. But it could have easily been even closer.
Let me walk you through it.
Just like our #4 v. #5 matchup, the game came down to the Monday night game. But it wasn’t a close game going in. Sweet Carolina had a 52.72 point lead going into the Monday night game, with another 18.80 points projected from Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jauan Jennings. ThrowUpThe X was only projected to score another 40.05 points between four Lions players: Goff, Jameson Williams, Sam LaPorta and Jake Bates. In other words, if both teams hit projections for the Monday night game, ThrowUpThe X would still be 31.47 points short. And conventional wisdom would say much of Goff’s potential to score over his projected for ThrowUpThe X would only help Sweet Carolina, as he has Goff’s #1 option at receiver in St. Brown.
The game did not turn out that way. In fact, it felt like everyone but St. Brown getting the ball. The first half of the game went basically all SF’s way, even blocking one of Bates’ XP attempts (stealing a point from ThrowUpThe X), yet Jauan Jennings had a paltry 2 catches.
But then…Detroit exploded in the 3rd quarter to take the lead over SF, with both LaPorta and Jameson Williams getting touchdowns, and Jared Goff snagging an extra two points via a successful two-point conversion try. Not only that, but Jauan Jennings had only 32 yards receiving going into the 4th quarter. All of a sudden, the game was within a couple of points, and the Lions had the ball, giving ThrowUpThe X a good chance at pulling out a shocking victory.
Over the next few plays, Goff had enough completions to move ThrowUpThe X into a 0.2 point lead, driving the Lions down to the SF 30 yard line. It felt like any type of score to anyone other than St. Brown might seal the victory. The very next play, Gibbs ran for a 30 yard TD, not helping either team’s scores, except for the upcoming XP for ThrowUpThe X’s kicker.
Bates missed the XP, culminating in two missed XP opportunities.
That left ThrowUpThe X’s lead at just 0.2 points, with the potential of Jared Goff’s game-ending kneels losing him more than 0.2 points.
ThrowUpThe X saw the writing on the wall.
Sweet Carolina needed just one catch for 3 yards from Jauan Jennings to win it. But Brock wasn’t looking in Jennings’ direction whatsoever. A great defensive play from the Lions set up a 2nd and long for the 49ers and knocked Brock Purdy out of the game. In came Josh Dobbs at backup WHO PLAYED IN COLLEGE WITH JAUAN JENNINGS. The very next play, Dobbs’ first pass, was a 13 yard completion to Jennings to seal the championship for Sweet Carolina. Jennings would end up with two more catches to extend the lead to 2.2.
The Lions would get the ball back one last time.
Goff knelt twice for, as fate would have it, -2 yards.
In case you didn’t catch the insanity of this:
· Before the 49ers got the ball back, ThrowUpThe X was winning by 0.2 points.
· If Purdy hadn’t gotten hurt, Dobbs wouldn’t have come in as backup QB.
· If Dobbs hadn’t come in and had the past camaraderie with Jennings, it’s highly likely that Jennings would not have caught another pass.
· The Lions would have gotten the ball back and knelt twice for -0.2 points.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP MIGHT HAVE ENDED IN A TIE.
And, if the championship had ended in a tie, the tiebreaker would have been ThrowUpThe X and Sweet Carolina’s head-to-head matchup in the regular season.
ThrowUpThe X won that game… meaning we would have had a DIFFERENT CHAMPION.
BONKERS, RIGHT?!
Sweet Carolina needs to send Josh Dobbs a fruit basket.
Instead, ThrowUpThe X secured their fifth runner-up finish in Elite Fantasy League championship games (yes, that’s five, as in, the number after four, as in, you’ve-gotta-be-freaking-kidding-me).
All in all, absolutely without-a-doubt the best championship game in League history.
RIGHTS AND WRONGS
Where I was right:
I had almost everyone pegged this year. In my first power rankings of the season, just after we drafted our teams, I put Sweet Carolina, ThrowUpThe X, and Nick’s Fury in our top three. They finished 1st, 2nd, and 4th.
I also had Pewter Pirates and Turn down for Watt as #4 and #5. They finished #5 & #6.
I had Stevie Kicks at #6. They finished #7.
I had Jets Jets Jets and Golden Boy as #8 and #9. They finished #8 and #10.
Where I was wrong:
Why were almost all of the above predictions just 1 off? Because I completely miscalculated on Butt Fumble, who I suspected had the worst team in the league.
Butt Fumble had the last laugh as they took home bronze this year.
Butt Fumble, I apologize, I was not familiar with your game.
I also had a tiny bit more faith in Ruthlessberger than maybe I should have. But my skepticism of Travis Kelce and Drake London and Jordan Love that I mentioned in our first rankings did end up becoming reality, so kinda a win tbh.
MVPs of 2024
Notable:
Nick’s Fury & Golden Boy are both QB gluttons.
Sweet Carolina had a top 5 player in five of six categories (all except DEF, which contributes the least points out of all categories).
Turn down for Watt also had a top 5 player in five of six categories (all except QB, which contributes the most points out of all categories).
Ruthlessberger, Golden Boy, and Jets Jets Jets each only had one category with a top 5 player.
HINDSIGHT IS 20/20: DRAFT EDITION
Notable Gems
Baker Mayfield, the last QB taken in the draft, finished QB #5 for Nick’s Fury.
Chuba Hubbard, the last RB taken in the draft, finished RB #13 for Jets Jets Jets.
Tyrone Tracy Jr., the second-to-last RB taken in the draft, finished RB #27 for Golden Boy, despite getting his first start in Week 5.
Jerry Jeudy, the last WR taken in the draft, finished WR #16 for Butt Fumble.
Philadelphia DEF, the very last pick in the draft (by Stevie Kicks), finished DEF #7 for Golden Boy.
Notable Wiffs
CMC, #1 overall, finished as RB #70 for Stevie Kicks. Ezekiel Elliot scored 50% more points than CMC this season.
CeeDee Lamb, 1st WR off the board and #2 overall, finished as WR #6 for Jets Jets Jets.
Garret Wilson, #8 WR off the board, finished as WR #15 for Nick’s Fury.
Travis Kelce, 1st TE off the board and 23rd overall, finished as TE #9. The ninth TE taken was selected at pick 101.
Breece Hall, #2 RB off the board and #5 overall, finished as RB #18 for Golden Boy. The 18th RB was selected at pick 49.
CJ Stroud (#3 QB off the board), Dak (#5 off the board), and Mahomes (#6 off the board), finished as QB 18, QB 30, and QB 10, for ThrowUpThe X, Butt Fumble, and Pewter Pirates, respectively.
Baltimore DEF (#1 DEF off the board), Dallas DEF (#2), NYJ DEF (#4), SF DEF (#5) finished as DEF 14, DEF 23, DEF 27, DEF 19, for Pewter Pirates, ThrowUpThe X, and Nick’s Fury, respectively. To put that in perspective, the Chicago Bears defense scored more points than any of the top 5 defenses drafted not named Pittsburgh. The Bears are currently 4-12.
Hopefully, this both helps you cope with your failures this season and prepare you for next season. Unless you’re Sweet Carolina, in which case, you’re just laughing at us.
Ah, fantasy football. You wily bastard.
Better luck next year, fellas!