ALL HAIL BUTT FUMBLE.

Austin Owen’s unprecedented fourth EFL title may have been the most unlikely in its 17-year history. Until the first round of the playoffs, Austin was grasping at anything to avoid landing the John Porta trophy. Now, here we stand three weeks later, honoring him with the Fauxbardi XVII trophy.

And, as fate would have it, it’s also because of Butt Fumble’s (and ThrowUpThe X [R.D. Gallant]’s) late season surge that Turn down for Watt (Joshuwa Shelton) earned the John Porta trophy. It’s not a shameful last-place finish for Josh, though. In fact, it represents the first time in league’s history that the last place team had at least 5 wins. ThrowUpThe X, Sweet Carolina, and Turn down for Watt would all finish with 5 wins, but the former two had the tiebreakers via higher Points For.

Remember when I harped on parity earlier this year? As it turns out, Season 17 was the season of parity. In a season where any team could win and any team could lose on any given week, we saw a 6-win champion and a 5-win last-place team.

I find that fitting.

The final four looked to be an exciting matchup between the league’s most storied managers: Austin (3 titles), Sy (2 titles), Ian (2 titles), and Tim (1 title). In reality, none of the games were close, and the teams finished in that exact order.

Austin saved his best for last, scoring 149 in the final week of the regular season to lock in a playoff spot and avoid the John Porta trophy. Then saw 109-, 145- and 132-point outings in the quarterfinal, semifinal and final, respectively. Austin had only five other games cracking 100 points during the season and hadn’t had a single one since Week 9.

Runner-up, Pewter Pirates (yours truly), led the league in scoring during the regular season, scored 139+ through the first two rounds, and then no-showed in the final, suffering their second-worst outing of the entire year.

#1 seed, Ruthlessberger (Ian Svendsen), used up the entirety of their magic in a round 1 romp over Sweet Carolina (Michael Schultz). Their 180 points was the largest scoring output of the season by any team. In the semifinal, Ruthlessberger misplaced 100 points and scored just 80 in a loss to eventual-champion Butt Fumble. Still, Ruthlessberger was able to fend off Jets Jets Jets (Tim Cook) to take home the bronze in the 3rd place game.

Middle seeds Stevie Kicks (Stevie Collins), Nick’s Fury (Nick Gosney) and Golden Boy (Kyler Stock) all lost in the first round of the playoffs, with each team scoring between 97 and 104 points. Each team would then go on to score significantly more points the following week while duking it out for 5th place. If only those performances had come a week earlier…

And with that…

A LOOK AT YOUR REGULAR SEASON MVPs

Notable:

• Pewter Pirates had a top 5 player in five of six categories in spite of losing 3 of their top 7 draft picks (Malik Nabers, Jayden Daniels & Tucker Kraft) to season ending injuries, largely because three of the five were undrafted waiver wire pickups

• Remember when Ruthlessberger drafted TEs back-to-back in the 3rd and 4th rounds? It might’ve paid off. The second TE of the pair, Trey McBride, led all TEs in scoring by a wide margin - actually outscoring WR #5.

• Stevie Kicks saw something in Drake Maye that none of the rest of us did. Maye was the 14th QB taken (a reminder that there are only 10 starting positions in the league) and ended up as QB #2 over the course of the season.

• ThrowUpThe X only had one category with a top 5 player, but luckily it was QB #1 Josh Allen, who played a large part in ThrowUpThe X avoiding the John Porta trophy late in the season.

HINDSIGHT IS 20/20: DRAFT EDITION

Notable Gems

• All of the Undrafteds. Eight (yes, eight) of the 30 top players listed above were undrafted. That means more than a quarter of the best players in fantasy this year were fair-game-for-anyone pickups on the waiver wire. No wonder there was so much parity this year.

• Non-star QBs. Caleb Williams, Bo Nix and Jared Goff all were significantly better fantasy options this season than Lamar, Burrow, Herbert, Hurts and any other fantasy-darling-QBs not named Josh Allen.

• Crowded-backfield RB2s. Oddly enough, D’Andre Swift, Rico Dowdle, Jaylen Warren, Zach Charbonnet, and RJ Harvey were great RB2 or FLEX options this season in spite of each sharing their backfield with another RB1 or RB2.

• Chris Olave, drafted 81st overall, finished WR #6 overall for Golden Boy - even on a terrible Saints team.

• George Pickens, drafted 49th overall (mostly because of CeeDee Lamb’s injury), finished WR #4 overall for Pewter Pirates.

Notable Wiffs

• Almost all QBs. Injuries decimated the position’s top performers from 2024, with Lamar, Baker, Darnold, Daniels, Burrow finishing outside the top 10 and Hurts landing at just #9.

• Another down year in TE Land. Big names and early draft picks such as Brock Bowers, George Kittle, Mark Andrews finished #8, #11, and #18.

• Defenses. Very few defenses were worth keeping around for more than a week at a time this year. Pre-season favorites, PHI, LAC, BAL, SF finished #7, #14, #19, and #26, respectively.

• ThrowUpThe X’s Cowboys fandom. Historically, R.D. has anywhere from 3-6 current or former Cowboys players on his roster. This year was the perfect year for that strategy, with Dak, Pickens, and Brandon Aubrey all landing in the top 5 at their respective positions. Unfortunately, in a year where R.D. had less Cowboys players than ever on his roster, he chose the worst one to keep: the Dallas defense was #31 on the season - only better than the N.Y. Jets (and not by much).

FINAL PLAYOFF BRACKET

FINAL SIGN OFF

Well, this is it. Both Fauxbardi XVII and the John Porta trophy are on trucks headed to Austin and Josh.

Hopefully, you all enjoyed this wildly unpredictable season as much as I did. Did I want to scrape my face against a brick wall for most of it? Of course. But fantasy football is a drug, and I’d be happy to see us all back next season for our next hit.

A quick note on next season: inflation is real. To keep up with trophy costs, league dues will be $15 next season. In other words, I hope participating in this league is worth the equivalent of that Chipotle-bowl-add-guac-plus-tax you were planning to get next week.

To that end: A special thank you to you all. I appreciate your engagement, setting your lineups, hitting the waivers, and making this the closest season #1 through #10 that we’ve ever had.

Better luck in next year, fellas. Season 18 looms large.

-Commish

Long overdue: a quick rundown of some of the most noteworthy teams and managers, followed by a final view of the playoff brackets.

BEST TEAM NAMES

1. Woody on my Johnson (Alex DiCarolo) - GM of the Jets

2. Jordanian Putters (Jordan Putt) - Jordan’s name

3. Not Racist Redskins (Jordan Williams) - Washington’s name change

4. HingleMcCringleBerry (Joel Wagness) - iconic Key & Peele video

5. Nacua Matata (Ben Musselman) - the circle of life

6. Fourth & Longwood (Stevie Collins) - where Stevie lives

7. Ship Happens (Sy Gallimore) - famous phrase meets Bucs’ secondary logo

8. The Skatteboys (Eli Robinson) - Eli’s favorite team + show

BEST TEAM LOGOS

1. Jordanian Putters (Jordan Putt)

   

2. I’m sorry Miss Jackson (Keuris Fernandez)

   

3. Lisan al-QB (Alex Chang)

   

4. Air Freier (Josh Shelton)

   

5. Fourth & Longwood (Stevie Collins)

MOST POINTS SCORED

1,878 Points (134 ppg)

Jordan Putt (Jordanian Putters) - Finished 5th in Mettle Division

1,633 Points (117 ppg)

Jordan Breyer (Blitz Zone Jordan Breyer) - Finished 5th in Bedrock Division

1,618 Points (116 ppg)

R.D. Gallant (U Digg it? 7-11) - Finished 2nd in Legacy Division

1,567 Points (112 ppg)

Ben Musselman (Nacua Matata) - Finished 1st in Legacy Division

1,548 Points (111 ppg)

Joe Acosta (Not Your Average Joe) - Finished 2nd in Bedrock Division

FINALIZED PLAYOFF BRACKET RESULTS

HERE’S HOW IT WENT DOWN:

Legacy - D1

ALL HAIL BEN MUSSELMAN.

On the eve of the birth of his first-born, Ben won League Bowl IV. His life will never be the same. Oh, and having a newborn will be meaningful, too.

Ben (Nacua Matata) won a tight, high-scoring affair with R.D. (U Digg it? 7-11). How did he win the title? With the very last waiver wire pick up of the year - what proved to be a championship-winning pick up - swapping D.J. Moore for Luther Burden III, who scored 16 points over projected in a 12-point championship win. Ben joins Tim Cook, Alex DiCarolo, and J.B. as one of our Relegation Football League champs.

On the other side, it was a heartbreaking runner-up finish for R.D., whose 6-game winning streak came to an end in the championship game.

The third place game was an ugly slugfest between two teams surprised to be there, with Zach Dye (Purdy Average) topping Jimmy Bunch (TL;DR) in a game in which neither team could crack 90 points.

Mettle - D2

Mettle Division proved one of three things (and I’m not entirely sure which):

1. That our middle tier is the most competitive in the entire league

2. That it ain’t over until it’s over (cue: Kevin Garnett’s “Anything is Possible” track)

3. That fantasy football is a sham

Inexplicably, the five lowest scoring teams in Mettle Division (the only teams averaging fewer than 100 points per game) finished:

• First: Daniel Monnier (Monnier) - a true worst-to-first turnaround during the season to secure back-to-back promotions from Bedrock up to Legacy

• Second: Campbell Wurl (Nicoco Puffs) - rode Kyle Pitts to an unprecedented second team to secure back-to-back promotions from Bedrock up to Legacy

• Fourth: Jordan Williams (Not Racist Redskins) - went from nearly relegated in the final week of the season to just missing out on promotion on the final day of the playoffs

• Eleventh: Keuris Fernandez (I’m sorry Miss Jackson) - now feeling the misery of back-to-back relegations after a promising promotion to Legacy the season before last.

• Twelfth: Ryan Tidwell (Dak Dak Goose) - a promising start fell apart and now faces relegation to Bedrock

Mind melting stuff.

The only promotion favorite that managed to actually be promoted was Alex Chang (Lisan al-QB) who saved all sanity and won the third-place game to secure a spot in Legacy next season.

Bedrock - D3

(Mostly) Status Quo.

Bedrock Division’s first-round upsets (R.I.P. Jordan Breyer) eventually amounted to just one surprise promotion bid.

First and Second went to Joel Wagness (HingleMcCringleberry) and Joe Acosta (Not Your Average Joe), who both had paced the division during the season.

The one surprise? Alejandro Sanchez (Alejandro’s Super Succulents) making a shocking push to make the playoffs, and then beat a top seed (Jordan Breyer) to position themselves to upset Miguel Garcia (Baker’s Dozen) for the last promotion spot.

HERE’S A FULL VIEW OF FINAL POSITIONS FOR ALL 36 TEAMS

Following all of that:

HERE’S AN EARLY PREVIEW OF NEXT YEAR’S DIVISION LINEUPS:

Note that Stevie Collins, Sam Adams, and Joey Eugene will be kicked from the league following their performance unless they can submit a compelling enough case to say via an Eviction Appeal document to the Office of the Commissioner (good luck).

And with that, I’ll say thank you to all of you for a fantastic, competitive season, and wish you all a great off-season before we run it back for Year 5.

-Commish

//

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FULL FIRST ROUND RESULTS (D1 - D3)

PLAYOFF BRACKETS (D1 - D3)

FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

Legacy - D1

Fighting to Win League Bowl IV:

#1 R.D. Gallant - U Digg It? 7-11, 10-4

#4 Ben Musselman - Nacua Matata, 8-6

#6 Jimmy Bunch - TL;DR, 8-6

#7 Zach Dye - Purdy Average, 7-7

Relegated:

#10 Keaton Smith - Maye Cause Drowsiness, 6-8

#11 Josh Shelton - Air Freier, 4-10

#12 Cody Morford - Bo Me, 2-12

How we got here:

#1 R.D. Gallant (U Digg It? 7-11, 10-4) staved off a valiant effort from #8 Hit Squad Nathan to make it to the final four.

#4 Ben Musselman (Nacua Matata, 8-6) overwhelmed #5 Ryan Johnson (‘s Rad Team, 8-6) with seven of nine starters scoring 10+ points a 40-point blowout.

Zach Dye (Purdy Average, 7-11) saved his season by getting a win in Week 14 to secure the 7th seed. A loss would have meant relegation to Mettle next season. Then, in the first round of the playoffs, Zach knocked off #2 J.B. (Jonathan’s Amazing Team, 10-4) in a shocking upset.

It was the first of two upsets, with #6 Jimmy Bunch (TL;DR, 8-6) also taking down #3 Alex DiCarolo (Woody on my Johnson, 9-5).

Mettle - D2

Fighting for Promotion:

#3 Daniel Monnier - Monnier, 8-6

#4 Alex Chang - Lisan al-QB, 8-6

#7 Campbell Wurl - Nicoco Puffs, 7-7

#8 Jordan Williams - Not Racist Redskins, 7-7

Relegated:

#10 Sy Gallimore - Ship Happens, 6-8

#11 Keuris Fernandez - I’m sorry Miss Jackson, 5-9

#12 Ryan Tidwell - Dak Dak Goose, 4-10

How we got here:

Despite having a 18-point lead in projected scoring, #6 Ian Svendsen (Ian’s Ingenious Team, 7-7) fell to #3 Daniel Monnier (Monnier, 8-6).

#7 Campbell Wurl (Nicoco Puffs, 7-7) upset #2 Kyler Stock (Kyler’s Splendid Team) before a single one of Kyler’s players started playing because of Kyle Pitts’s massive Thursday night performance of 40 points. Campbell won by 28.

The best game of any of the first-round matchups across the league was #4 Alex Chang (Lisan al-QB, 8-6)’s nail-biting 1.22-point win over #5 Tim Cook (Jets May Win Someday). It all came down to the Monday night game and truly could have gone either way in the 4th quarter.

What the heck, I’m going to include myself because I’m pissed about it. My team, Ship Happens, cruised to victory in Week 14 and wound up with the 5th highest point total in the league of the course of the season. In spite of that, I was still in need of help - heavy-favorite Ian Svendsen (Ian’s Ingenious Team, 7-7) needed to beat Jordan Williams (Not Racist Redskins, 7-7) to help me avoid relegation. Jordan only scored 80 points, so that shouldn’t have been a problem. But Ian crapped the bed and only scored 70. So here we are.

I guess it’s okay, though, because #8 Jordan Williams went on to upset #1 Jordan Putt (Jordanian Putters, 11-3) in the first round - perhaps the largest upset in league history given the Jordanian Putters dominance across all three divisions this season.

Bedrock

Fighting for Promotion:

#1 Joe Acosta - Not Your Average Joe, 12-2

#3 Joel Wagness - HingleMcCringleberry, 10-4

#5 Miguel Garcia - Baker’s Dozen, 9-5

#7 Alejandro Sanchez - Alejandro’s Super Succulents, 6-8

Potentially getting kicked from the league entirely next year:

#11 Stevie Collins - Fourth & Longwood, 4-10

#12 Sam Adams - Long Shot Sam, 4-10

#13 Joey Eugene - Joey’s Marvelous Team, 1-12

How we got here:

#1 Joe Acosta (Not Your Average Joe, 12-2) coasted into the final four with a never-in-doubt win over #8 ATL Lemon Peppas.

The second biggest upset of the entire Relegation Fantasy League is none other than #7 Alejandro Sanchez (Alejandro’s Super Succulents, 6-8) knocking off #2 Jordan Breyer (Blitz Zone Jordan Breyer, 11-3) in the first round. Alejandro scored 40 points more than his projected to squeeze past Jordan by a whopping 4.14 points…in spite of not setting his lineup with an RB2.

#3 Joel Wagness (HingleMcCringleberry, 10-4) won an underwhelming affair against #6 Jayson Rhea (Jayson’s First-Rate Team, 7-7).

#5 Miguel Garcia (Baker’s Dozen, 9-5) upset #4 Eli Robinson (The Skatteboys, 10-4), mostly due to Kyle Pitts’s huge game.

Worth noting: Stevie Collins (Fourth & Longwood, 4-10) was desperately trying to make the playoffs instead of playing it safe to avoid relegation and texted then-11th-seed Alex Soares (Cool Drive Alex, 5-9) to set his lineup. The thought process was that if Alex won and Stevie won, Stevie would sneak into the 8th seed. Well, Alex did his end of the bargain, but Stevie lost, sending him into 10th and in danger of being kicked out of the league altogether.

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The article starts with me rambling about the season ending, gets way too detailed about who’s locked into the playoffs/relegation and which fantasy matchups will determine final positioning and then ends with a final tiers breakdown of all of you. Feel free to read every word I’ve spent the time to write for you skip to what you’re most interested in.

Fellas, this is it. I’ve got a baby coming tomorrow, and in all likelihood, this will be the last you’ll hear from me this season.

But, for what it’s worth, it’s been quite the season. There’s been good competition, storylines, and the makings for an exciting finish. Week 14 will be the final regular season week, and there is so much still on the line.

In fact, there are some wild scenarios in which 7th seeds are in danger of dropping 4 spots on the final week and being relegated; two divisions will have a 6-8 team relegated.

On the flip side, some guys aren’t worried at all - except about titles:

• Legacy. R.D. Gallant and Ryan Johnson are both trying to win their first League Bowl championship, while J.B(ahn). and Alex DiCarolo each are vying for their second title in league history.

• Mettle. Jordan Putt and the Jordanian Putters have scored 1740 points this year. That’s 219 points more than the next closest team out of all 36 guys in the late this year (Jordan Breyer’s Blitz Zone - Bedrock Division, 1521 points). They currently lead Mettle, and are most likely to be joined by Kyler Stock (Kyler’s Splendid Team) and Alex Chang (Lisan al-QB) in promotion to Legacy.

• Bedrock. While there are five teams in the mix, Joe Acosta (Not Your Average Joe), Jordan Breyer (‘s Blitz Zone), and Joel Wagness (HingleMcCringleberry) are the most likely to earn promotion to Mettle next season.

With all of that said, before I show you the final tiers of the season, make sure you’re tuned in to what are going to be the most pivotal games around the league this week.

PLAYOFF SCENARIOS

Legacy

What’s Still Up For Grabs: Two playoff spots, one relegation spot

All but four teams in the division already know their fate:

1. J.B. - Jonathan’s Amazing Team, 10-3

2. R.D. Gallant - U Digg It? 7-11, 9-4

3. Alex DiCarolo - Woody on my Johnson, 9-4

4. Ryan Johnson Ryan Johnson’s Rad Team, 8-5

5. Jimmy Bunch - TL;DR, 8-5

6. Ben Musselman - Nacua Matata, 7-6

Moving down to Mettle Division next year:

11. Josh Shelton - Air Freier, 3-10

12. Cody Morford - Bo Me, 2-11

Key Matchups To Keep Tabs On:

Keaton Smith (Maye Cause Drowsiness) secures 7th seed with a win, but could miss the playoffs with a loss + Zach Dye (Purdy Average) or Michael Schultz (Sweet Carolina) win, and could be relegated with a loss + Zach Dye and Michael Schultz wins.

Nathan Clute (Hit Squad Nathan) secures 7th seed with a win, misses the playoffs but avoids relegation with a loss + Michael Schultz (Sweet Carolina) loss, or gets relegated with a loss + Michael Schultz win.

While a win will secure Zach Dye (Purdy Average) a playoff spot, a loss could very easily mean being relegated, despite having 6 wins. Zach needs either Nathan Clute (Hit Squad Nathan) or Michael Schultz (Sweet Caroline) to lose in order to stay out of the relegation zone. Both are projected to win this week.

Michael Schultz (Sweet Carolina) avoids relegation with a win, and can make the playoffs with a win + Zach Dye (Purdy Average) loss.

Mettle

What’s Still Up For Grabs: Five playoff spots, one relegation spot

Yes, you read that right. Only five teams officially know their fate going into the final week:

1. Jordan Putt - Jordanian Putters, 10-3

2. Kyler Stock - Kyler’s Splendid Team, 8-5

3. Daniel Monnier - Monnier, 8-5

Moving down to Bedrock next year:

11. Ryan Tidwell - Dak Dak Goose, 4-9

12. Keuris Fernandez - I’m sorry Miss Jackson, 4-9

But, based on point differentials, we can essentially also lock in the following:

4. Alex Chang - Lisan al-QB, 7-6

5. Ian Svendsen - Ian’s Ingenious Team, 7-6

Key Matchups To Keep Tabs On:

A win will secure Campbell (Nicoco Puffs) a playoff spot. A loss could drop them all the way out of the playoff race entirely if Julio (Silence of the Lamb), Tim (Jets May Win Someday), and Jordan (Jordan’s Crazy Team) all pick up wins.

A win will secure Julio (Silence of the Lamb) a playoff spot. A loss could drop them out of the playoffs - without risk of relegation - if Tim (Jets May Win Someday) and Jordan (Jordan’s Crazy Team) pick up wins.

A win will secure Tim (Jets May Win Someday) a playoff spot. A loss + a Jordan (Jordan’s Crazy Team) win will mean Tim falls out of the playoffs, but stays above the relegation cut line.

Jordan can avoid relegation with a win or a Sy (Ship Happens) loss. With a win AND a Campbell (Nicoco Puffs), Julio (Silence of the Lamb) or Tim (Jets May Win Someday) loss, Jordan can make the playoffs.

Sy has to beat Monnier and have Jordan (Jordan’s Crazy Team) lose in order to avoid relegation.

Bedrock

What’s Still Up For Grabs: One playoff spot, one relegation spot

This division’s playoff outlook is pretty set. Locked into the playoffs:

1. Joe Acosta - Not Your Average Joe, 11-2

2. Jordan Breyer - Blitz Zone Jordan Breyer, 10-3

3. Joel Wagness - HingleMcCringleberry, 10-3

4. Eli Robinson - The Skatteboys, 9-4

5. Miguel Garcia - Baker’s Dozen, 8-5

6. Jayson Rhea - Jayson’s First-Rate Team, 6-7

7. Alejandro Sanchez - Alejandro’s Super Succulents, 6-7

Getting kicked from the league next year:

12. Joey Eugene - Joey’s Marvelous Team, 1-12

Key Matchups To Keep Tabs On:

There’s only one playoff spot still open, and it’ll be fought for between Jason Meredith (ATL Lemon Peppas, 5-8) and Stevie Collins (Fourth & Longwood, 4-9). A Jason loss and Stevie win will mean Stevie sneaks into a playoff spot.

At the same time, Sam Adams (Long Shot Sam, 4-9) and Alex Soares (Cool Drive Alex, 4-9) are attempting to avoid being kicked from the league by getting a win and praying for Stevie (Fourth & Longwood, 4-9) to lose.

WEEK 13 TIERS

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FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

Fellas, I need to level with you:

With my firstborn inbound any day now, this is likely my last power-rankings edition of the year. That may not be a fitting end to the rankings, especially since this has been an especially balanced season - one that deserves its flowers.

What do I mean by balanced? Every season has its surprise wins and upsets, but this season, more so than others, has been a representation of parity. As stated in earlier editions of these rankings, no team has truly cemented themselves as being elite. And, on the other end of that spectrum, no team has truly cemented themselves as being hot garbage. Being in a 3-to-10-win grouping across the league’s two divisions has been the catalyst to that aforementioned parity. In fact, the parity has been so striking that at least two versions of the parity wheel have become possible.

Parity wheel? Yep. See one of the (at least) two combinations below, made possible by ThrowUpThe X’s upset over Ruthlessberger in Week 11:

So, if you’re ever getting a big head (like Nick’s Fury after Week 7), come back to this wheel to humble yourself. Anyone can beat anyone on any given week.

That said, some of us are in better positions for deeper runs at Fauxbardi XVII than others. I’ll outline that below.

But one of my Thanksgiving gratitudes of this year goes out to you all. It’s been a great season. I wish you all the best of luck in the last couple of weeks of the regular season, through the playoffs, and in trying to avoid the John Porta trophy (but maybe not quite as much luck as I wish myself).

Read ‘em and weep.

2025 WEEK 12 RANKINGS

Fauxbardi XVII Favorites

1.

Ruthlessberger

Current Record: (10-2, 1st)

Week 8 Rank: 2 (+1)

Y! Draft Grade: D

Y! Projected Record: (3-11)

Manager: Ian Svendsen

Years in League: 9

Best Finish: Champ (2x - 2022, 2023)

CLINCHED.

Playoffs are a lock, and the #1 seed might as well be, too, so long as Ruthlessberger can avoid losing both of their last two games and the point cushion they currently have over Stevie Kicks.

New patriarch, who dis? Ruthlessberger became a dad about two weeks ago, coinciding with a necessary loss as attention was rightfully elsewhere. OH, WAIT. NOPE - STILL GOT A DUB. Maybe Baby Oline is a good luck charm, because Ruthlessberger didn’t even need a QB to get a win over Butt Fumble. And sure, maybe Week 11 didn’t come out on top, but still scored over 100 points without touching a thing in the lineup.

Can we trust Ruthlessberger’s sleep deprivation not to catch up with him when making crucial line-up decisions? Maybe. But he’s easily a top seed in the playoffs regardless of how the last couple of weeks go and, hopefully by then, will be well-adjusted and ready to pursue a league-tying third Fauxbardi.

Thankful for:

Wins. I still don’t fully understand how Ruthlessberger is managing to dominate the regular season, because there haven’t been any consistent scorers on the team. But, here they stand, looking down on the rest of us.

2.

Pewter Pirates

Current Record: (6-6, 2nd [Division 1 leader])

Week 8 Rank: 4 (+2)

Y! Draft Grade: D-

Y! Projected Record: (2-12)

Manager: Sy Gallimore

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (2x – 2010, 2020)

Who knew losing two of their top three picks in the draft was the best thing for Pewter Pirates? Matt Stafford’s career year lives on, and desperate scrapping in the waiver wire to replace Nabers has actually landed Pewter Pirates in a good place, now having outscored the rest of the league by a 75-point margin. Pickens, Cook, whichever GB running back is playing on a given week and good DEF/ST play has solidified a high-floor for Pewter Pirates.

If there’s concern, it’s probably in inevitably picking the wrong FLEX each week, having to choose between three good Chargers players in an offense that never seems to feed the same mouth twice. If Jaylen Warren keeps nursing an injury, Kenneth Gainwell could be a valuable asset down the stretch. Week 13 will be an interesting matchup with a desperate Butt Fumble team.

Fun anecdote: through Week 9, Pewter Pirates had managed to follow every 120+ point win with a sub-100 point loss and every sub-100 point loss with yet another 120+ point win. Weeks 10 and on upset that tradition a little bit by starting a new two-on-two-off system. But when the team is on, it’s on. Pewter Pirates has wins scoring 120+, 135+, 140+ and 155+. That huge scoring potential bodes well for Pewter Pirates long term.

Thankful for:

Points. If they can’t translate into wins, at least they help dictate tiebreakers. Pewter Pirates isn’t fully in the clear for the playoffs from a wins perspective, but the scoring output on the season should protect them in any tied-record scenarios at the end of the season.

3.

Jets Jets Jets

Current Record: (7-5, 4th)

Week 8 Rank: 1 (-2)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (11-3)

Manager: Tim Cook

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2015)

CLINCHED.

“Look, I know it doesn’t look like a #1 team. But dang-it, since Week 4 Jets Jets Jets has only scored less than 118 points once.”

It’s been four weeks since I uttered the statement above, and Jets Jets Jets hasn’t scored 118 since. That hasn’t mattered, though, as Jets Jets Jets found a way to go 2-2 and position themselves favorably for the playoffs. And, honesly, it was this close to being 3-1. Week 12’s matchup against Ruthlessberger was our smallest margin of any game this season. Jets Jets Jets almost found a way to come away with a stunning come-from-behind win over Ruthlessberger, but fell just 0.04 points short. Yahoo’s Matchup of the Week delivered.

0.04 points, by the way, is essentially equivalent to the length of a football. Meaning, if any of Jets Jets Jets players had just reached out an extra ball-length, they would be 3-1 in their last 4 games and winners of 7 of 9.

A game of inches. Virtual, fantasy-land inches, that is.

And, just to play a game of what-ifs, Jets Jets Jets played Mahomes while having Jared Goff on the bench. Goff outscored Mahomes by a whopping 0.08 points. That would have been enough to beat Ruthlessberger in Week 12.

Thankful for:

The ability not to stress over a close loss because you’re already playoff bound.

Hoping to hit their stride in the playoffs

4.

Stevie Kicks

Current Record: (8-4, 3rd)

Week 8 Rank: 6 (+2)

Y! Draft Grade: B+

Y! Projected Record: (8-6)

Manager: Stevie Collins

Years in League: 2

Best Finish: N/A

CLINCHED.

For Stevie Kicks, nailbiters have been the name of the game. You can get a full breakdown of Week 9’s nailbiter in Butt Fumble’s ranking below, and you can get a full breakdown of Week 12’s nailbiter in Sweet Carolina’s ranking below. But I’ll give you the spark notes: Stevie Kicks consistently plays down to his competition and then scores one more point than them.

Cause for concern: Since Week 9, Stevie Kicks has progressively scored less points each week. In fact, Stevie Kicks has scored under 85 points in back-to-back weeks. The WR corps is primarily to blame, with a little bit of mediocre QB play and lack of a true RB2 sprinkled in for good measure.

Cause for gratitude: Incredibly, Stevie Kicks is still 3-1 in their last four games, which has been enough to put them in position to push for the #1 seed (albeit needing a lot of bad luck from Ruthlessberger to get there). For Stevie Kicks to truly push for that #1 seed, though, they really need Bucky Irving back at pre-injury form. With that, this team could be dangerous.

Thankful for:

8 wins. With injuries and tight games, we didn’t know if we’d get here. Now, it’s just a waiting game to see who the first-round matchup is with in Week 15.

5.

Nick’s Fury

Current Record: (7-5, 5th)

Week 8 Rank: 3 (-2)

Y! Draft Grade: C+

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Nick Gosney

Years in League: 7

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2019)

CLINCHED.

Might not be as fun to clinch during a loss, but earning a playoff spot is earning a playoff spot.

To that end, it’s been a positive, yet frustrating few weeks for Nick’s Fury, who have scored 107+ in four straight, but only found themselves winning two of four. Those two losses stung, too - both close games against teams barely fighting for playoff spots.

Loss #1: In Week 10, Nick’s Fury was largely dead to rights against Turn down for Watt. Going into the Monday night game, Turn down for Watt needed only 12 points from the combo of Jalen Hurts and AJ Brown to beat Nick’s Fury. The Eagles proceeded to generate just 10 points of offense. Alas, Hurts and Brown combined for 13 and Turn down for Watt emerged victorious.

Loss #2: Week 12 wasn’t any better. This time against Golden Boy, Nick’s Fury was in a 43-point hole going into the Monday night game with three players still to play. Even then, it wasn’t an insurmountable total if Purdy had only had a semi-decent day throwing the ball. Unfortunately, a long potential TD pass to Nick’s Fury WR2 Ricky Pearsall was underthrown and intercepted by Carolina in the endzone, and Nick’s Fury would come up 11 points short.

The off-setting positives: Week 11’s 65-point blow-out over Sweet Carolina helped morale, and it feels good to know that a high-scoring floor has been established going into the playoffs. Nick’s Fury will need to try to get a win in Week 13 to keep from falling in seeding, because the final game of the regular season looks to be BYE week hell.

Thankful for:

Winning in Week 11. Why Week 11, especially? Because Nick’s Fury went out of their way to be smart and on top of the waiver wire by adding Sean Tucker, the Buccaneers’ 3rd string running back who is getting extra playing time with Bucky Irving out. That waiver wire foresight was proven to be wise in Week 11, when Tucker had 32 points. The problem is that those points were on Nick’s Fury’s bench. But, since Nick’s Fury won the game by 65 points anyways…he’ll be able to get past it.

6.

Turn down for Watt

Current Record: (5-7, 8th)

Week 8 Rank: 9 (+3)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (4-10)

Manager: Joshuwa Shelton

Years in League: 11

Best Finish: 3rd (2018)

Good news: Rock bottom was fairly short-lived. It did live on in Week 9, in which Turn down for Watt managed just 80 points. But, in Week 10, the tides began to turn. Going into the Monday Night Game, Turn down for Watt was down 10.5 points to Nick’s Fury. But with Jalen Hurts still to play, it felt like a safe win.

It didn’t end up being safe, but it did end up being a win. The Eagles won one of the most boring games of all time 10-7 and Jalen Hurts got 1.6 more points than he heeded to get Turn down for Watt the W.

Week 11 was underwhelming again, and Week 12 ended up being Turn down for Watt’s highest scoring output of the season.

THE bright spot of the last weeks has been the RB room - highlighted by TreVeyon Henderson, who had a very slow start to the season after being drafted with so high of expectations, and Jahmyr Gibbs, who is getting less and less poached by David Montgomery. Both RBs have scored 70+ fantasy points in the last 3 games. EACH.

With that kind of play, Turn down for Watt can be lethal any given Sunday. The only drawback might be the rest of the roster’s lethality on Turn down for Watt’s own scoring any given Sunday.

Thankful for:

Pulling out of the deep, dark depths of the mid-season and into a playoff position.

Fighting To Keep a Playoff Spot

7.

Golden Boy

Current Record: (5-7, 7th)

Week 8 Rank: 7 (-)

Y! Draft Grade: C

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Kyler Stock

Years in League: 4

Best Finish: 3rd (2023)

Lest ye forget, Golden Boy was once 0-5 and are now 5-2 in their last 7 games. That’s right - Golden Boy is cooking. We don’t know if it’s with gas, but they’re cooking.

Golden Boy gets contributions all over the map, but the most consistent scorers since Week 6 (when they started winning) are in the back half of the starting lineup. Golden Boy has funneled players in and out of the FLEX, DEF, and K slots (primarily from roster-depth, as Golden Boy only has 7 waiver wire moves on the seaseon) and has an exceptional hit rate in those positions. It has allowed enough of a base for sub-par QB play and inconsistent RB play. Jaxon Smith-Njigba continues to be a large part of the scoring week-to-week, but it’s been the spot-booms for Drake London, Chris Olave, Saquon, Chase Brown, and recent waiver wire pickup Aaron Jones that have given Golden Boy just enough oomph to keep their hot streak going. None of them can be counted on week-to-week like JSN, but, dang-it, if the kicker keeps going for 18, things just might be ok.

Golden Boy is likely just one win away from locking up a playoff spot.

Thankful for:

The Seahawks’ lack of stars clearing the way for JSN to get all of the volume. Trivia Question: Can you name any current Seahawks wide receivers after Jaxon Smith-Njigba? And no, Tyler Lockett is not still on the team.

8.

Sweet Carolina

Current Record: (5-7, 6th)

Week 8 Rank: 8 (-)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (12-2)

Manager: Michael Schultz

Years in League: 5

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2024)

Sweet Carolina painstakingly sat through Week 12’s Monday Night Football. It couldn’t have been fun. In spite of already having an underwhelming week losing Baker Mayfield mid-game and watching Jonathan Taylor have his second-lowest output of the season, Sweet Carolina was still holding onto hope for a win. Stevie Kicks had only managed 73.76 points on the week, and all Sweet Carolina needed was for Rico Dowdle to score a mere 8.13 points to win the game. For context, Dowdle has averaged 17.5 points since taking over the starting role for Carolina in Week 5. Unfortunately, Carolina was unable to capitalize on 3 INTs, threw an interception inside the 5-yard line, and had two runs called back for holding, limiting Dowdle’s production just enough. Dowdle ended up just eight yards short of giving Sweet Carolina the win.

It won’t be a season-altering loss - Sweet Carolina is essentially guaranteed a playoff spot with their Points For being what it is. But the last few weeks have made something incredibly clear: Sweet Carolina is only as successful as its RBs. Week 10, Jonathan Taylor plays, Sweet Carolina scores 130 point. Week 11, Jonathan Taylor on BYE, Sweet Carolina scores 59 points. Week 12, Jonathan Taylor sucks, Sweet Carolina scores 73 points.

It’s not a horrible recipe for success given JT’s track record this season, but it’s clear there are less avenues to win than some other teams on this list.

Thankful for:

Thick thighs and a big O-line.

John Porta Trophy Favorites

9.

Butt Fumble

Current Record: (4-8, 9th)

Week 8 Rank: 5 (-4)

Y! Draft Grade: B

Y! Projected Record: (10-4)

Manager: Austin Owen

Years in League: 12

Best Finish: Champ (3x – 2016, 2017, 2021)

Rough few weeks, starting with Week 9: Butt Fumble and Stevie Kicks’ matchup came down to the Monday night game. Butt Fumble had a decent lead, with Brandon Aubrey still to play. Stevie Kicks had only Marvin Harrison Jr. Of course, as fate would have it, Marvin Harrison Jr. would have his best first half of his season with 14 points, putting Stevie Kicks ahead in the matchup. But, Austin had no reason to fear, because the Cowboys were in Arizona territory, backed up with a 3rd & 17. All Butt Fumble needed was a Cowboys FG from the beautiful golden leg of Brandon Aubrey to take the lead back.

It was setting up perfectly. Dak dropped back to pass and found Jake Ferguson for a 10-yard gain, potentially setting up a 4th & 7 that would become a surefire FG attempt from just over 40 yards. Unfortunately, Ferguson would fumble the ball, and Aubrey wouldn’t get a chance. Still, the game wasn’t over. Aubrey had a chance for a then-NFL-record 68-yarder before half-time but missed. Then, in the third quarter, it happened. The Cowboys were stopped at the 8-yard-line and forced to take a short field goal. Aubrey made the FG and Butt Fumble retook the lead by 0.4 points.

As you’re probably already surmising, it was short-lived. On the next drive, Marvin Harrison Jr. would have his final catch of the night for 16 yards. Stevie Kicks won the shootout 122.26 to 121.16.

Since that heartbreaking loss, Butt Fumble has failed to score 100-points. The short-lived excitement from Lamar Jackson’s return has turned into a nightmare, with the QB scoring fewer points in each successive week. Not to mention Puka Nacua, Butt Fumble’s leading scorer, has been TD-poached repetitively by Davante Adams in the Rams offense over the last few weeks. In spite of its stars, Butt Fumble finds themselves extremely vulnerable with only two weeks to go. It’ll take at least one win and a points cushion to keep themselves from falling into earning the John Porta trophy.

Thankful for:

The few weeks Lamar was hurt and forced Butt Fumble to play a replacement that can actually score points (otherwise, who knows where we’d be right now). Derrick Henry being decent again?

10.

ThrowUpThe X

Current Record: (3-9, 10th)

Week 10 Rank: 10 (-)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (6-8)

Manager: RD Gallant

Years in League: 16

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2013)

Pain. Week 11’s 138-point triumph was quickly juxtaposed by Week 12’s 56-point dud. It also lost ThrowUpThe X the majority of its point cushion over Butt Fumble, who they’ll be fighting with during the last two weeks to avoid the John Porta trophy. Also, as a fun anecdote, 56 points is exactly half of ThrowUpThe X’s projected total for the week of 112. I’d bet that’s never happened before!

The worst part is that it’s hard to know even what to change. The same reasons for Week 11-style victories - Josh Allen, Mark Andrews, Stefan Diggs, Nico Collins, Jameson Williams - are the same reasons for Week 12-style losses. And when Ashton Jeanty is your most consistent player, it’s hard to feel great about your squad. Still, ThrowUpThe X has a decent remaining schedule, with Golden Boy and Turn down for Watt remaining on the docket, while holding a 10-point cushion over Butt Fumble in Points For, needing just one win to tie them in the standings.

So, you’re saying there’s a chance?

Thankful for:

A recognition that fantasy football isn’t real life and that there are so many other things that are more important. Butt Fumble’s slide making it possible to not finish last.

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FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

All you ever hear in these rankings is me yapping on, so to spare you (at least in small portion), I’ve decided to give the power back to the people. Today we’re going to highlight your own takes on your performance. And, for the most part, you were pretty grounded in reality. For the most part.

You all are an interesting bunch. I’m an economy-driven person. I’m a firm believer in finding market equilibrium between supply and demand. Well, maybe not super firm - after all, nobody asked me to make power rankings. But there seems to be a little bit of a demand. Therefore, I supply. But, I’ve got to say, you all (the market) have shown your non-Gen Z colors: the demand for creative graphics seems to be at an all-time low. So, we’ll stick to the script and stick to, well, script.

Read ‘em and weep.

2025 WEEK 5 RANKINGS

Trying to Establish Themselves

1.

Jets Jets Jets

Current Record: (5-3, 3rd)

Week 5 Rank: 3 (+2)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (11-3)

Manager: Tim Cook

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2015)

Jets Jets Jets manager, Tim Cook, assessing team performance in a quote to Elite Fantasy League reporter, Guy Sallimore:

“Even across the pond [the Jets] offense couldn’t even top 100 yards. How many more games to the 1st pick in the draft so we can pick Mark Sanchez again? He has more on his resume now: stabbing. In a Fantasy League, I can build a team and call them the Jets but only have one Jet player on my team so that I can win more than I lose. Riding a good streak now. Next up: 2nd place head-to-head matchup.”

Look, I know it doesn’t look like a #1 team. But dang-it, since Week 4 Jets Jets Jets has only scored less than 118 points once. Ain’t nobody else in the league doing that!

Mahomes has quietly been great, Kelce has had his moments, McConkey is back on top of the WR depth chart in LAC and Brian Thomas Jr. just got the best news of the year - his entire WR room is hurt besides him. With a decent Bijan, Breece Hall and Kenneth Walker, who’s to say this team can’t make some noise? It’s been a decade since Jets Jets Jets last won the EFL. Is the year to break the dry-spell? Another win this week over #10 ThrowUpThe X would all but solidify a playoff spot for Jets Jets Jets with 5 weeks to go.

2.

Ruthlessberger

Current Record: (7-1, 1st)

Week 5 Rank: 4 (+2)

Y! Draft Grade: D

Y! Projected Record: (3-11)

Manager: Ian Svendsen

Years in League: 9

Best Finish: Champ (2x - 2022, 2023)

Guy Sallimore, EFL reporter, reached out to Ruthlessberger manager, Ian Svendsen, for comment following EFL’s Week 5 edition of the power rankings. The response:

“Bro same! It’s gonna be crazy. I don’t think it’s going to fully hit me until the day she’s born!”

We’re going to assume that was a “sorry, wp” text. But also, congrats to Ruthlessberger, who will likely still be #1 in the Elite Fantasy League when he welcomes his first-born to the world in about two weeks.

The wins just keep coming. And who cares how they come? 7-1 is 7-1, and it is all but a lock for a top seed in the playoffs. For a team that was projected to only win 3 games this season, Ruthlessberger has shown that they haven’t won two titles in this league out of nowhere. If Joe Flacco can keep balling while Purdy sits, and if D’Andre Swift isn’t out too long… maybe a few more wins can lead Ruthlessberger to a #1 seed draw.

3.

Nick’s Fury

Current Record: (5-3, 4th)

Week 5 Rank: 6 (-3)

Y! Draft Grade: C+

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Nick Gosney

Years in League: 7

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2019)

Nick Gosney, manager of Nick’s Fury spoke to EFL reporter, Guy Sallimore after the Week 5 edition of the power rankings:

“Look, we always come out to play hard. And we always look for ways to motivate the guys. And we try not to put too much stock into what the pundits say and just stay focused on our goals. But to get ranked below a team who can’t beat a winless team and to beat the last undefeated team… I guess the writers of these rankings will have more to discuss on Tuesday.”

You think those britches are big? One week later:

“Ruthlessberger and ThrowUpThe X OVER ME?!?!?!” (Said like Jimmy Butler after the Heat beat the 76ers)

But, after a Week 8 loss to Ruthlessberger head-to-head:

“Proverbs 16:18. The britches may have been a size too large.”

Indeed they were, Mr. Gosney. Indeed they were. But only one size too big, because at the end of the day, the team has been playing well, and outside of a loss to Ruthlessberger, has earned a rise in the ranks, with 6 straight weeks scoring 100+.

Trying to Break Out of .500

4.

Pewter Pirates

Current Record: (4-4, 6th)

Week 5 Rank: 8 (+4)

Y! Draft Grade: D-

Y! Projected Record: (2-12)

Manager: Sy Gallimore

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (2x – 2010, 2020)

EFL reporter Guy Sallimore reached out to Sy Gallimore, manager of Pewter Pirates for quote following the release of the Week 5 power rankings:

“Listen, I’m not going to say I’m surprised, but I’m also not going to say that I really think this squad is the 8th best team in the league. I mean we’ve got guys. They’re injured, but we’ve got ‘em. And yes, I know we were only projected 2 wins on the year. But since when do we listen to Yahoo? This isn’t 2004. We’ll be back.”

Sure enough, Pewter Pirates is back. Finally, some wins to go along with all of the points! Pewter Pirates have outscored the league, but are only now making it back to .500. Not having Jayden Daniels at their disposal has been a lone hiccup since losing Malik Nabers. And while that may seem like stacking one big deal on top of another, Pewter Pirates have had a consistent running game paving the way to its scoring booms. One or two more division wins will land Pewter Pirates on top of Division 1.

5.

Butt Fumble

Current Record: (4-4, 2nd [Division 1 leader])

Week 5 Rank: 9 (+4)

Y! Draft Grade: B

Y! Projected Record: (10-4)

Manager: Austin Owen

Years in League: 12

Best Finish: Champ (3x – 2016, 2017, 2021)

EFL reporter, Guy Sallimore, reached out to Butt Fumble manager, Austin Owen, for comment following EFL’s Week 5 edition of the power rankings. Sallimore only received a thumbs-up.

Was the thumbs up sarcastic given the team’s 76-point performance in Week 6? Or was it speaking to Butt Fumble knowing that everything was going to be A-OK in the long-run?

Weeks 7 and 8 have been a confidence booster for Butt Fumble, who now look to get Lamar Jackson and Puka Nacua back. No longer will the team have to rely on Kayshon Boutte to lead the WR corps (though, he did fill in much more admirably than his name would imply). With a 3-2 record within Division 1, Butt Fumble has risen to the top of the division and snagged its coveted #2 seed label. How long will Butt Fumble be able to fend off the rest of the division? Time will tell.

6.

Stevie Kicks

Current Record: (5-3, 5th)

Week 5 Rank: 2 (-4)

Y! Draft Grade: B+

Y! Projected Record: (8-6)

Manager: Stevie Collins

Years in League: 2

Best Finish: N/A

Stevie Collins, manager of Stevie Kicks, when speaking to EFL reporter Guy Sallimore about the Week 5 power rankings:

“Everyone on the squad has picked up the slack where we need it, although I’m not sure how long we can keep up the pace. One game at a time, and one lucky break at a time.”

The lucky breaks have started slowing the past three weeks, as Stevie Kicks has limped to three-straight sub-100 performances. The worst part is not having a direct place to turn for answers, with essentially the entire roster outside of Drake Maye struggling to get to 10 points on a given week. There’s talent on the roster, but, by my count, at least 5 of the consistent starters for this offense are on teams with lackluster QB play. It’s hard to feel good about what you’re going to get week to week from any of them right now.

Trying to Get to .500

7.

Golden Boy

Current Record: (3-5, 8th)

Week 5 Rank: 10 (+3)

Y! Draft Grade: C

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Kyler Stock

Years in League: 4

Best Finish: 3rd (2023)

EFL reporter, Guy Sallimore, reached out to Golden Boy manager, Kyler Stock, for comment following EFL’s Week 5 edition of the power rankings. Nobody from the Golden Boy camp returned any requests for comment.

Shut up and ball out. That’s what Golden Boy apparently turned to after our last rankings. A team that was 0-5 has failed to show up for any press conferences, instead opting to put their heads down and get to work. And get to work they have. Golden Boy has completely resurrected their season, reeling off 3-straight victories while averaging 125 points per game. Losing Cam Skattebo is painful, especially with Saquon being on BYE in Week 9, but, in the words of Bronco legend Russell Wilson, “Bronco Nation, Let’s Ride!”

8.

Sweet Carolina

Current Record: (3-5, 7th)

Week 5 Rank: 1 (-7)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (12-2)

Manager: Michael Schultz

Years in League: 5

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2024)

EFL reporter, Guy Sallimore, received a delayed response from Sweet Carolina manager, Michael Schultz, regarding Week 5’s edition of the power rankings:

“Extremely shocked and proud of being ranked at #1, just to lose the following week.”

Sweet Carolina foresaw what was coming. Three straight losses - including last week’s backbreaking 1 point loss to Jets Jets Jets - have shot Sweet Carolina down the standings. The team is by no means terrible, but with Mike Evans going down for a second time, Carson Wentz creating an anemic offense for Jettas to work in, and Chuba Hubbard/Rico Dowdle sharing carries, there’s a lot less juice than there has been throughout the season thus far.

It has Jonathan Taylor looking around the Sweet Carolina locker room like:

9.

Turn down for Watt

Current Record: (3-5, 9th)

Week 5 Rank: 7 (-2)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (4-10)

Manager: Joshuwa Shelton

Years in League: 11

Best Finish: 3rd (2018)

Turn down for Watt manager, Joshuwa Shelton, after being asked if he had any reaction to the EFL’s Week 5 rankings:

“Accurate. Just put [us] at the bottom. [We’re] free-falling.”

We might have just found rock bottom. After being #1 in the rankings after Week 3, it’s been a precipitous fall for Turn down for Watt, who now sports the lowest Points For total in the league. Week 8… I actually feel bad talking about Week 8… You see, Jalen Hurts scored 25.36 points. The rest of the team scored 25.90 points. I’m not a betting analyst, but I can say with complete confidence that it’s hard to win games with 51.56 points.

Turn down for Watt just needs to shake it off, hope for more Week 7 performances, and try to push past Yahoo’s original 4-win projection for the season, which, looks much more ominous than it did a few weeks ago.

Trying to Finish 9th

10.

ThrowUpThe X

Current Record: (1-7, 10th)

Week 5 Rank: 5 (-5)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (6-8)

Manager: RD Gallant

Years in League: 16

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2013)

Guy Sallimore, reporting for EFL, as heard from ThrowUpThe X manager, RD Gallant:

“I appreciated the generous power ranking standings even though I am at the bottom of the league. Unfortunately, most weeks haven’t gone my way despite some high scoring performances. I think my team needs to watch some film and learn how to finish games.”

I guess the film room projector broke. The team has not learned how to finish games. In fact, after 8 games of much of the same, it’s hard to remember what it was like the one time ThrowUpThe X actually did win a game. Not only that, but with Golden Boy going on his sudden tear, ThrowUpThe X finds themselves at least two games behind everybody. That puts them in sole-contention for the John Porta trophy. ThrowUpThe X already has stockpiled the runner-up trophy over the years. The last thing they want to start is a new collection.

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Ironically, the last time I did a Tiers + Power Ranking combo edition was exactly this time last year, also coming off of a bad bout of the flu and some crazy fevers. That said, it’s probably best not to anticipate getting another combo issue until 2026. There are 36 of you after all - this crap takes some time.

I had to adjust the tiers again for this edition. There are still eight tiers, but one is reserved for just one of the 36 managers: the “Manager of the First Half” as it were.

A lot of movement already in our third tiers edition of the season; 66% of teams moved tier levels (albeit, renamed).

(full power rankings below the tiers)

FULL POWER RANKINGS

IMAGINE THE 2007 PATRIOTS, BUT THEY BEAT THE GIANTS 75-0

1. Jordanian Putters (Jordan Putt) - Mettle Division

BEST OF THE REST

2. Jonathan’s Amazing Team (JB Bahn) - Legacy Division

3. HingleMcCringleberry (Joel Wagness) - Bedrock Division

4. Blitz Zone Jordan Breyer (Jordan Breyer) - Bedrock Division

5. U Digg it? 7-11 (RD Gallant) - Legacy Division

6. Lisan al-QB (Alex Chang) - Mettle Division

TROPHY / PROMOTION FAVORITES

7. Ryan Johnson’s Rad Team (Ryan Johnson) - Legacy Division

8. The Skatteboys (Eli Robinson) - Bedrock Division

9. Not Your Average Joe (Joe Acosta) - Bedrock Division

10. Hit Squad Nathan (Nathan Clute) - Legacy Division

11. Kyler’s Splendid Team (Kyler Stock) - Mettle Division

12. Ian’s Ingenious Team (Ian Svendsen) - Mettle Division

WILDCARD & DANGEROUS

13. Baker’s Dozen (Miguel Garcia) - Bedrock Division

14. Jets May Win Someday (Tim Cook) - Mettle Division

15. Maye Cause Drowsiness (Keaton Smith) - Legacy Division

16. Dak Dak Goose (Ryan Tidwell) - Mettle Division

17. Jayson’s First-Rate Team (Jayson Rhea) - Bedrock Division

18. Woody on my Johnson (Alex DiCarolo) - Legacy Division

KIRK COUSINS

19. Nacua Matata (Ben Musselman) - Legacy Division

20. Long Shot Sam (Sam Adams) - Bedrock Division

21. Monnier (Daniel Monnier) - Mettle Division

22. Nicoco Puffs (Campbell Wurl) - Mettle Division

23. TL;DR (Jimmy Bunch) - Legacy Division

GOOD, BUT ANGERED THE FANTASY GODS

24. ATL Lemon Peppas (Jason Meredith) - Bedrock Division

25. Silence of the Lamb (Julio Hernandez) - Mettle Division

26. Sweet Carolina (Michael Schultz) - Legacy Division

TIM TEBOW

27. I’m sorry Miss Jackson (Keuris Fernandez) - Mettle Division

28. Purdy Average (Zach Dye) - Legacy Division

TRYING TO ESCAPE RELEGATION

29. Ship Happens (Sy Gallimore) - Mettle Division

30. Fourth & Longwood (Stevie Collins) - Bedrock Division

31. Alejandro’s Super Succulents (Alejandro Sanchez) - Bedrock Division

32. Air Freier (Joshuwa Shelton) - Legacy Division

33. Jordan’s Crazy Team (Jordan Williams) - Mettle Division

MEGA BOOTY JUICE

34. Bo Me (Cody Morford) - Legacy Division

35. Cool Drive Alex (Alex Chang) - Bedrock Division

36. Joey’s Marvelous Team (Joey Eugene) - Bedrock Division

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FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

I wasn’t going to put out a new edition of the Power Rankings until Week 6, but the last two weeks have flipped our last rankings on their head. It felt like my duty as commissioner to impose my opinion onto you sooner than later.

The problem was that I couldn’t quite put my finger on how I felt about us all without visualizing it first. So, without further ado, a first-of-its-kind power-rankings:

Read ‘em and weep.

2025 WEEK 5 RANKINGS

Far be it from me to determine whether you’re elite or not - the graphic allows you to decide for yourself.

…Who am I kidding? I absolutely will decide whether you’re elite or not. And spoiler: you're not. And yes, if you got to the end of the graphic, your not-being-elite is its own vicious cycle.

Let’s dive in.

Not Elite, But Currently Pretty Good

1.

Sweet Carolina

Current Record: (3-2, 4th)

Week 3 Rank: 8 (+7)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (12-2)

Manager: Michael Schultz

Years in League: 5

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2024)

Injury bug, injury shmug.

I’ve got a challenge for you: pull out some graph paper, grab a protractor and plot the point totals for Sweet Carolina each week. 99, 105, 106, 111, 148…that’s a trend I think we all can get behind. And, true to their namesake, it’s been Panthers RBs keeping Sweet Carolina at the century mark. Rico Dowdle’s 30 points in Week 5 launched him into Spot Week Waiver Pickup of the Year candidacy.

2.

Stevie Kicks

Current Record: (4-1, 2nd)

Week 3 Rank: 7 (+5)

Y! Draft Grade: B+

Y! Projected Record: (8-6)

Manager: Stevie Collins

Years in League: 2

Best Finish: N/A

Remember when Stevie Kicks scored 58 points in Week 1? Me neither. In the 4 weeks since, Stevie Kicks has averaged 117 points per game without Burrow and even managed their best scoring output of the season last week without Bucky Irving. So, make it four straight wins for Stevie Kicks, who don’t know who they’ll get points from each week but can rest easy knowing the points will somehow come all the same.

3.

Jets Jets Jets

Current Record: (3-2, 5th)

Week 3 Rank: 9 (+5)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (11-3)

Manager: Tim Cook

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2015)

Jets Jets Jets apparently held a players-only meeting after my last rankings, because after calling out the aerial attack for its lackluster start to the season the group has put on a show in weeks 4 and 5. Mahomes has had a resurgent couple of weeks from a fantasy prospective and spot booms from DK Metcalf & Calvin Ridley, plus a more balanced Ladd McConkey and Brian Thomas Jr., have allowed Jets Jets Jets to run a 120-point pace over the last two weeks. Next week, a team staving off injuries to any of their key players gets Bijan Robinson back from bye. Jets Jets Jets is getting hot.

4.

Ruthlessberger

Current Record: (5-0, 1st)

Week 3 Rank: 2 (-2)

Y! Draft Grade: D

Y! Projected Record: (3-11)

Manager: Ian Svendsen

Years in League: 9

Best Finish: Champ (2x - 2022, 2023)

A win is a win is a win is a win is a win. At 5-0, we’re not discriminating. Or maybe we are, because Ruthlessberger drops two spots in the rankings without losing a game. It’s just that two wins this season have come while scoring in the 80s, including last week’s who-can-out-lose-their-opponent matchup with Pewter Pirates. And in a rankings of elite-ness, I’m not sure how high I can stomach slotting Ruthlessberger to this point in the season.

That said, while it’s not an overly impressive performance showing each week, Ruthlessberger has all but assured themselves a playoff spot with their spotless start.

5.

ThrowUpThe X

Current Record: (1-4, 9th)

Week 3 Rank: 5 (-1)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (6-8)

Manager: RD Gallant

Years in League: 16

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2013)

What does it take to get a win around here? Make that 4 of 5 weeks this season scoring 100+ points, including last week’s 133-point effort. Yet, only 1 win on the season?

A tough scheduling break for an otherwise top 4 team in the league has moved ThrowUpThe X into darkhorse territory for Fauxbardi XVII. To put it in perspective, ThrowUpThe X is so dominant that they have elite fantasy QB Daniel Jones on the bench!? I’m kidding. I think.

6.

Nick’s Fury

Current Record: (3-2, 6th)

Week 3 Rank: 3 (-3)

Y! Draft Grade: C+

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Nick Gosney

Years in League: 7

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2019)

Now that Omarion Hampton is on IR, the #startJKDobbins campaign can get into full swing. In all seriousness, as much as it sucks to lose the high upside of Hampton, Nick’s Fury is built for this, having 3 other legitimate starting RBs. In the meantime, though, losing Hampton leaves Nick’s Fury with just CMC as the main oh-man-this-guy-could-go-for-40-this-week player on the roster. That means Nick’s Fury might be a little more boring and just have to win games by being consistent. First world problems.

Find a Way to Lose Games

7.

Turn down for Watt

Current Record: (2-3, 2nd [Division 2 leader])

Week 3 Rank: 1 (-6)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (4-10)

Manager: Joshuwa Shelton

Years in League: 11

Best Finish: 3rd (2018)

Emeka Egbuka is one of the year fantasy stories of the year. Originally projected to slot as a WR 3 or 4 for Turn down for Watt has been the lone bright spot for the WR corps for weeks. Jahmyr Gibbs has been a consistent 15ppg. Deebo Samuel has had a couple of spot booms as well.

All of that to say, it hasn’t been all bad the last couple of weeks, but it has been all losses. Leading a division by 0.5 points with a losing record isn’t exactly riveting stuff, and with that, Turn down for Watt sees their Week 3 #1 ranking flit away.

8.

Pewter Pirates

Current Record: (2-3, 7th)

Week 3 Rank: 6 (-2)

Y! Draft Grade: D-

Y! Projected Record: (2-12)

Manager: Sy Gallimore

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (2x – 2010, 2020)

Projected points don’t always translate, huh? Play the hand you’re dealt. Don’t bother dreaming about how good Nabers could have been with Jaxson Dart or how much you wish you hadn’t had to start Russell Wilson and Geno Smith while Jayden Daniels recovered from injury. It’s not time for daydreams and excuses. It’s time for action. And so, I’d like to take the action of creating a time machine and picking up Rico Dowdle last week.

The good news is someone has to win the division and get the #2 seed, and Pewter Pirates is only 0.5 points out from that spot.

9.

Butt Fumble

Current Record: (2-3, 8th)

Week 3 Rank: 4 (-5)

Y! Draft Grade: B

Y! Projected Record: (10-4)

Manager: Austin Owen

Years in League: 12

Best Finish: Champ (3x – 2016, 2017, 2021)

Raise your hand if you went against everything inside of you as a Steelers fan and drafted two Baltimore Ravens stars to run your fantasy offense only to watch them crumble before your eyes, creating a weird dynamic where you’re kind of happy because the Ravens suck, but also kind of sad because your fantasy team has lost 3 in a row!

The Opposite of Elite

10.

Golden Boy

Current Record: (0-5, 10th)

Week 3 Rank: 10 (-)

Y! Draft Grade: C

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Kyler Stock

Years in League: 4

Best Finish: 3rd (2023)

The good: Golden Boy finally scored more than 80 each of the last two weeks. Bo Nix, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and Drake London have settled into nice, consistent fantasy play. Cam Skattebo is now taking the bulk of the carries in New York.

The bad: Chase Brown still is on a sucky offense that now turns to Joe Flacco. Tyreek is gone for the year. Saquon has rushed for less than 50 yards three times and has yet to rush for more than 88. And WR Drake London was kept in the starting lineup on a bye.

At this point, the bad outweighs the good. So, for the second straight power rankings I'll ask: can Cam Skattebo save Golden Boy from back-to-back John Porta trophies?

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FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

FULL LEAGUE RESULTS

And just like that, we’re 1/6th of the way through the NFL season. Slow down, professor.

It has been an odd season thus far. Yahoo got us all wrong (what’s new), and plenty of key injuries have shaken up the rosters (what’s new), and there have been a number of players that seemed washed last season that have come back with a vengeance and moved from the end of your benches into the starting lineups (that’s kind of new).

But, hey, wild and wacky is what I thrive on. And while I don’t know that I have you all completely pegged yet, I think there’s enough to go off of to appropriately rank you 1-10. And I’ve done just that.

So, for the first time in the 2025 season:

Read ‘em and weep.

2025 WEEK 3 RANKINGS

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1.

Turn down for Watt

Current Record: (2-1, 2nd)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (4-10)

Manager: Joshuwa Shelton

Years in League: 11

Best Finish: 3rd (2018)

Boom-bust-boom for Turn down for Watt in the first three weeks of the season. The individual performances aside, Turn down for Watt has to feel good about their start, scoffing at Yahoo’s projections of their season. Turn down for Watt has yet to have a game in which they’ve hit on all-cylinders, and yet they’ve scored 112+ twice in three games. That’s a good position to be in.

Spot explosions from Zay Flowers, Emeka Egbuka, Jordan Mason, and the Pittsburgh defense? Great sign.

AJ Brown and Jalen Hurts finding their footing in Week 3? Great sign.

Jahmyr Gibbs finding consistent success in a new Lions offense? Great sign.

It may not all be happening at the same time, but it’s all happening, and that’s a good foreshadowing of what may be possible for this team, that seemingly has no ceiling.

Sure, Younghoe Koo getting released by the Falcons was a downer for the cult-following, but being replaced by a consistent leg in Chad Ryland for a Cardinals offense that will struggle to score TDs without James Conner feels like a good thing.

Keep an eye on Turn down for Watt.

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2.

Ruthlessberger

Current Record: (3-0, 1st)

Y! Draft Grade: D

Y! Projected Record: (3-11)

Manager: Ian Svendsen

Years in League: 9

Best Finish: Champ (2x - 2022, 2023)

Ruthlessberger’s entire existence so far this season seems like comedic irony. Yahoo projected Ruthlessberger to win just 3 games on the year. Ruthlessberger has obliged by becoming the only team with 3 wins so far this year.

Yet, I’m not entirely sure how they’ve gotten there.

A preseason trade with Pewter Pirates sent Josh Jacobs away in exchange for Amon-Ra St. Brown. That left Isaiah Pacheco to hold down the fort as the team’s #1 RB. Pacheco left Ruthlessberger on read, though, and they had to turn to last year’s biggest fantasy disappointment in Travis Etienne. Of course, Etienne decided he remembered who he was from 2023 and has been the one carrying the RB room so far this year.

Ruthlessberger’s QB situation hasn’t been great either. Brock Purdy was injured after Week 1, and replacement CJ Stroud has been pretty terrible in place.

Who has saved the day? Amon-Ra St. Brown. Thank goodness for that trade. If CeeDee Lamb can stay healthy, Brock Purdy comes back stronger, and Etienne continues to turn back time, Ruthlessberger is going to surpass Yahoo’s predictions in short order.

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3. 

Nick’s Fury

Current Record: (2-1, 4th)

Y! Draft Grade: C+

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Nick Gosney

Years in League: 7

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2019)

Week 1 was alarming. Newly paid McLaurin, new L.A. Ram Davante Adams, newly back from injury Dak, and newly washed (?) Mark Andrews combined - yes, combined - for a whopping 16.5 points. That’s enough to scare anyone into the trade machine. And that’s exactly what Nick’s Fury did a week later, getting Tetairoa McMillan from ThrowUpThe X for Javonte Williams, capitalizing on Williams’ 19 point outing in Week 2.

Speaking of: Week 2 and 3 have felt much better. Week 2’s output from Williams, Adams, McCaffrey and Achane paced a balanced 119 points from Nick’s Fury. Week 3 wasn’t quite as full of fireworks, and newcomer McMillan only had a hair under 5 points, but all-in-all, Nick’s Fury has managed to survive the first few weeks mostly uninjured and in possession of good weapons (even on the bench - like J.K. Dobbins) that can be week winners any given Sunday.

Early pick Omarion Hampton has not translated into the RB 2-3 that Nick’s Fury drafted them to be, but if time helps Hampton find his rhythm, he could be yet another cog in Nick’s Fury’s wheel.

It may not be a dominant team today, but it’s a balanced team with upside. Often times, those end up being the most dangerous.

#startJKDobbins

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4. 

Butt Fumble

Current Record: (2-1, 3rd)

Y! Draft Grade: B

Y! Projected Record: (10-4)

Manager: Austin Owen

Years in League: 12

Best Finish: Champ (3x – 2016, 2017, 2021)

It’s the right roster with the wrong supporting cast to feed the roster.

I mean, what’s not to love about these players? There is talent coursing through this roster. So why the slow decline from Week 1’s 120 points to Week 3’s 98 (which, by the way, some of us would kill for)? Why only 2-1?

Because Tee Higgins doesn’t have a QB to throw him the ball, Devonta Smith has a QB that has been asked not to throw the ball, and the Denver defense has to make up for an offense that can’t sustain drives. Oh, and they ran into a Colts team that decided they were the class of the AFC. Oh, and Derrick Henry can’t stop fumbling. Oh, and the entire bench is full of players on terrible offenses.

Last week’s performance, both in Philadelphia and in Baltimore must have infused some confidence in Butt Fumble. Again, this team is good and it’s right there. They just have to get the right QB play and for Derrick Henry to hang onto the ball. With just those minor changes, Butt Fumble will likely stay in the mix.

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5.

ThrowUpThe X

Current Record: (1-2, 8th)

Y! Draft Grade: D+

Y! Projected Record: (6-8)

Manager: RD Gallant

Years in League: 16

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2013)

Preseason expectations for Ashton Jeanty to be a Derrick Henry-esque workhorse have, to this point, not materialized. Pete Carroll, known for having top 10 rushing attacks, has leaned on Geno Smith’s arm through 3 weeks instead of Jeanty on the ground. Didn’t see that coming.

That’s ultra-relevant for ThrowUpThe X who are seemingly a Derrick Henry away from being elite. Josh Allen has been great in reality, but only good in fantasy terms, Nico Collins is struggling to find an elite connection with a deteriorating-before-our-eyes CJ Stroud and Jameson Williams finds himself in an offense with too many mouths to feed to feel completely secure in week-to-week output. That’s probably why ThrowUpThe X pulled the trigger on a trade with Nick’s Fury to bring Javonte Williams in-house. Well, of course, that and the fact that Javonte Williams could add to ThrowUpThe X’s stash of Cowboys players. But, getting Williams came at the price of losing Tetairoa McMillan, who has had an encouraging start to his NFL career.

All of this has left ThrowUpThe X with few options to turn to for consistency, relying on Kamara’s and Boswell’s weekly 10 points, Josh Allen’s 20, and a smattering of other contributors to fill in the rest.

Oh, and there was one of those terrible dances where in Week 1 Michael Pittman Jr. had a great game on the bench while Jameson Williams had a rough outing in the starting lineup, and then in Week 2, Pittman had a rough outing in the starting lineup while Williams had a great game on the bench.

Fantasy football tests the best of us. ThrowUpThe X has a bit of a challenge for consistency ahead.

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6.

Pewter Pirates

Current Record: (1-2, 6th)

Y! Draft Grade: D-

Y! Projected Record: (2-12)

Manager: Sy Gallimore

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (2x – 2010, 2020)

Yahoo’s prediction of 2 wins aside, Pewter Pirates headed into Week 1 with a lot of promise. The RB tandem of Josh Jacobs and James Cook, combined with 2024 elites Jayden Daniels, Malik Nabers, George Kittle, Chase McLaughlin and the Baltimore defense looked phenomenal on paper.

Alas, paper isn’t in its hey-day.

Week 1 would see Kittle end up on IR, Jayden Daniels begin a sophomore slump, Chase McLaughlin miss a FG and an XP, and the Nabers-led receiving corps combine for just 15 points.

Maybe 2-12 was accurate?

But then, Week 2. It all came together gloriously for Pewter Pirates, coasting to 150 points with contributions from the whole roster.

Screw 2-12! Here comes Fauxbardi XVII!

Unfortunately, Jayden Daniels and Aaron Jones would be lost to injury, joining Kittle, Godwin, and a suspended Rashee Rice on the bench - a bench that is quickly running out of pine. In turn, Week 3 went about as poorly as it could have, with Baltimore’s defense ending the Monday night game with -4 points - a perfect icing to an awful cake.

Needing some relief from injuries, Pewter Pirates is vulnerable.

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7.

Stevie Kicks

Current Record: (2-1, 5th)

Y! Draft Grade: B+

Y! Projected Record: (8-6)

Manager: Stevie Collins

Years in League: 2

Best Finish: N/A

Thank goodness for … wait … am I reading this right? Yeah, that’s what the teleprompter is saying …

Thank goodness for Rome Odunze and David Montgomery? That’s a tandem we didn’t see leading a team this season, but here we are. In Week 2, Rome Odunze scored 17 points over his projected total in a 17-point win over Jets Jets Jets. Then, in Week 3, Stevie Kicks eeked out an insane come-from-behind victory over Sweet Carolina because of Monday night’s freight train effort from David Montgomery, who scored 28.4 points in a 2.5-point win for Stevie Kicks over Sweet Carolina.

The other game this season? Stevie Kicks probably doesn’t want to relive it. It was the worst performance of any team this season by a country mile - a 58-point effort in Week 1 against Ruthlessberger in which nothing went right.

The future is a little nebulous with Joe Burrow hitting IR and Ja’Marr Chase struggling without a decent QB, but for now, Stevie Kicks will have to ride the wave of shocking performances until a new baseline can be established.

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8.

Sweet Carolina

Current Record: (1-2, 7th)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (12-2)

Manager: Michael Schultz

Years in League: 5

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2024)

Somebody tell me a good mashup name for Jonathan Taylor and Chuba Hubbard because Sweet Carolina NEEDS A NAME for their star(?) RB tandem.

That’s right - it’s not Justin Jefferson (RIP Vikings offense this season) or even Baker Mayfield (those last second drives help, though). It’s also not James Conner or Mike Evans (and thank goodness, because they’re both now injured).

It’s Jonathan Taylor averaging over 20ppg and Chuba Hubbard averaging over 11ppg that are pacing Sweet Carolina. Yes, the record is 1-2 on the season, but Sweet Carolina has scored 100 points each week, which, were it not for some tough matchups, would have meant their record would be better.

The problem now is mitigating losing James Conner for the year (minor issue with JT and Chuba) and Mike Evans for however long his hamstring will hold him out. The latter is the bigger issue between the two, as the WR corps is already Sweet Carolina’s Achilles’ heel.

Still, it’s an above average roster as long as the RB core keeps its production level. The team is better than this ranking, but I have a feeling the injury bug is going to take its toll on Sweet Carolina - at least in the short term.

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9.

Jets Jets Jets

Current Record: (1-2, 9th)

Y! Draft Grade: A+

Y! Projected Record: (11-3)

Manager: Tim Cook

Years in League: 17

Best Finish: Champ (1x - 2015)

Jets Jets Jets needs to stay away from the radio. It’s been a cacophony of noise coming from sports talk shows about each of the players on Jets Jets Jets roster. Many of the players have started the NFL season as major duds.

Travis Kelce is getting more washed by the day, Brian Thomas Jr. has alligator hands, Ladd McConkey is losing targets to Keenan Allen (yes, he’s back), and Breece Hall is trapped on a Jets team with no quarterback.

What was the most complete team in the league, with the second-best projected preseason record has quickly become a team with more questions than answers.

But, maybe we should have seen it coming. Pewter Pirates had the Mahomes & Kelce pairing last year and scraped and clawed just to make the playoffs. Unless the aerial attack for Jets Jets Jets can get their act together, this could become a deeper hole in a hurry.

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10.

Golden Boy

Current Record: (0-3, 10th)

Y! Draft Grade: C

Y! Projected Record: (7-7)

Manager: Kyler Stock

Years in League: 4

Best Finish: 3rd (2023)

Sure, they finished last and earned the John Porta trophy last year, but even so, it’s not the start Golden Boy envisioned when the season began.

Entering Week 1 with one of the highest projected point totals in the league, Golden Boys had every reason to be excited: last year’s #1 fantasy RB in Saquon Barkley leading a great RB room, an elite WR corps including Tyreek Hill, Drake London and Jaxon Smith-Njigba, even the upstarts in Bo Nix and Kaleb Johnson gave reason for hope.

All of those hopes have been dashed.

Golden Boy has yet to crack 80 points through the first three weeks. With a nervous Tua, Tyreek Hill has been mediocre at best, Bo Nix has gone full sophomore slump, Kaleb Johnson has negative fantasy points on the year, and an injury to Joe Burrow has allowed defenses to stack the box on Chase Brown.

At this point, Golden Boy doesn’t really have anywhere to turn. Could Miami trade Tyreek to a decent team? Can Saquon get back to 200-yard games? Can Cam Skattebo save Golden Boy from back-to-back John Porta trophies?

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